Love…..what is love…….
Well I have just read nmods meaningful blog, it inspired me to ask…….what is love…….for one’s children/ grandchildren I would say indisputable, everlasting……..but what about for our spouses/partners……..is this an everlasting love that never dies, of course it isn’t or there would never be any divorces……..many of us still go on to find “love” after bereavement…….so it is replaceable……….is it more of a basic need in us for company, which many could fulfil…….or the romantic version where you fall deeply in “love” never want to be apart, absolutely adore everything about each other, eyes for no other……..so why doesn’t the honeymoon period last forever…..ooops, we took the Rose tinted specs off…… I know life happens and gets in the way…….hope I get some positive comments telling me you are still and more in love than ever……..here’s hoping…..xx
Recommend0 recommendationsPublished in Senior Chatters
“What is this thing called love?” I think this is a song title. Senior moment here!
It comes in all sorts of forms……different sorts of love for all the different people you love in your life but the one thing that always amazes me is how it changes ,evolves or even disappears.
I believe in it, I give it and hope and know that my love is returned.
Oh yes I am still in love for the very reason that I know my love is returned.No rose tinted specs…just hard work and understanding.
Big question here Star ”What is this thing called love?” but the world would be a much sadder place if we didn’t have it in all of its many forms.
Thoughtful blog and thank you for making me realise how many people love me and I them.
A little reminder of who really does love us can do no harm now and again…..xx
Eros-Philia-Agape / to which one you want our own definition Star??
Great topic, Starlette. I am lucky enough to have been in love with the same person for seventeen years. I think you longer you are a pair, the deeper love gets. One moment in our lives together defined for me the ultimate expression of love. One night we were faced with a crazy intruder trying to get into our cottage. I was absolutely certain we were going to be murdered. The whole ordeal is a blog in itself but at the height of danger, and during scenes of utter panic my partner shouted the same words to me over and over: ‘Stand behind me, Rain.’ Whenever I think of that, I am moved beyond words.
Rain what another horrific experience for you………..well your partner trying to keep you out of danger, putting your safety before their own is an act of love and caring indeed……yes I would think you are very moved when you think of those those words…….happy for you that you have found love with your partner….xx
vonMichael. I would like to know what you think on one, two or three, but I see which one you put first. LOL
Dear Rose,
I think my character combines pieces of all those 3 attributes. But please don’t ask me which one dominates the other. The answer for that I’ll keep for myself which you will understand as I hope?xx
rain, sounds like you have found “love” at its best.
Starlette, a good blog. You did a great job on the questions. My head was filled with so many expectations, I have spent a lifetime figuring out how it all works, and maybe you were also and hence the blog.
I can tell you that divorces do not mean that one or both partners don’t love each other. The divorce means that one or both want out of the legal binds.
I say love is all those things you said above. Love is a force of nature and also a creation of the mind, with one or the other operating and trying to comply with society and meet human needs. This is very hard and society has tried to put legal supports in to support society’s interests in all this. The honeymoon ends when the balance in the couple becomes unbalanced.
Hello Michael……….the one for our children are unconditional…….so talking Eros…….passion……..xxx
Starlette. I have another comment. Love happens when Cupid shoots the arrow, and that may be as rational as anyone needs to be if they expect love, after all it is about “head over Heels” and “falling in love”. If you want to be sensible, don’t expect love, and who wants to be sensible. There you have it. Like you starlette, I am quite confused in all this.
How different is love in our senior years?
Yes Rose the chemistry has to be there initially………but everlasting love……is there such a thing…….like you say, the balance can change……..what happens, is true love so easily dispensed of………….can we ever love another the same……xx
I tend to agree with you Star, I do not know about everlasting love….I think that depends on different individuals…..something I often ponder.
everlasting, that is a longer time than I have had. Do you mean all of a natural life time? I think so. It is not a question of all or none though. Parts last longer than the whole.
Everlasting……one life, one love…..xx
Hello Star, Eros means erotic with passion, ( reason why a brothel is also
named as an erotic center ),
Philia mean the reciprocity ( or feelings for friendship ) the understanding
of eachother and the respect of a person,
Agape means altruism,
and real love should contain out these three elements.xxxM
Well you know what I think as a women……we should have at least three men in our lives……..one for the passion, honey coated words, sweet gestures……….one for the knowledge, wit and humour……. one for the practical chores and do it your self jobs…….now to get all of those qualities rolled into one man, you would be one hell of a lucky lady……… blessed indeed………just saying guys……I’m sure you would also like a mixture of different qualities too, if you could create your ideal women…….xx
My dear aunty Star,
all I’ve to say to *** your way of women thinking. *** If you would cross my paths of life you would meet quite a few +++ lucky ladies +++!!!
I hope my memories don’t disappoint me in that matter and I don’t look to much vain to you???? xxxM
Well Michael if you have it flaunt it, why not…….oh that I would have been one of those lucky ladies….xxx
Sorry Star sorry,
if you turn it the other way round than you see; I wan’t good for the young women got into friendship with.
They just looked for someone different, that’s all. xxxM
“A man wants a cook in the kitchen, a lady in the front room and a whore in the bedroom”. This is one, I wonder if you all heard.
Yep Rose, was from Jerry Hall…….one of Mick Jaggers ex wives ………but it didn’t stop him from straying did it…..ermm………xx
Love is “everlasting ” ,love is a feeling it can never die !
We may change the way we feel about something or somebody but that doesn’t kill love …love is always there …it’s within us . We can’t” find “love in someone else …but we can find someone else who makes our love grow and that will act as a magnet of mutual attraction and that’s how a loving
relationships start .then it’s up to us to keep up nurturing our relationship for it to last !
And although we can love with passion ,I don’t think that sexual passion is needed for love to be real .
Sorry ,there’s a small grammatical mistake I’m unable to correct …may I also add that the above comment ,it’s just my opinion .
Some would say that sexual passion is love or a great big part of it. There is something about it.
There’s not sexual passion in the love for our children / grandchildren …but the love it’s real ! This is just one example . There’s a myriad ways of loving , sexual passion it’s just one of them .
I would,nt mind a heapin helpin of sexual passion now and then….but not at the moment..its too hot…mebbe when it cools off a bit 🙂
Yes of course, and you seem very positive that love never dies…….I quite agree that we all have love within us……….but when we give it to others as in love passion, why does it not always last forever…surely if its true love its supposed to………..
Well, perhaps it wasn’t true love…perhaps it was more of a sexual attraction and once satisfied it fizzled out…perhaps it was an imbalanced relationship one partner giving too much ,the other giving too little .
There’s a myriad of reasons why relationships don’t last ! Some people are givers and are open to receive while others are more reserved and /or are afraid to give and receive love ,it doesn’t mean they don’t feel it, it’s just that they don’t know how to deal with .
I think it all depends on the emotional state of each individual ,
Some people tend to leave things on the back burner ,they don’t deal with their stuff and go through life carrying a heavy load .this emotional overload will eventually affect the way they relate to others .
Love as a feeling is everlasting …it is us and how we deal with it that makes the difference .
Again , this is only my opinion . This is how I see it .
well! I feel lovingly compelled to answer this one , lol. got a new keybopard again you will all be pleased to know , that is getting off the question I know, however when I was 16 i was in an arranged marriage, through death and circumstance in my family, I twas a culteral decision as well, and i never questioned it , I was just a child and always did as I was told, it was the done thing in my Grandmothers culture who was helping to raise me , so at 17 marriage vows were taken , my Grandmother always said ” love grows with time “, in my case it was all about ownership. I was told constantly that i was brought of my family and I was to do as I was told for twenty years…. I will not go into the whole sorry sag , but needless to say i didnt know what love was, after my husband died at a young age 37, i adored which was more than love my babaies, iworked my fingers off to raise them through sheer love andwanting them to have the future in this country than I did .
pleased to say they have all flourished and are doing exceedingly well …
i drfted always working and studying and never went on dates , I didnt know how and if a boyor young man spoke to me i would drive home as fast as I could with embarresment. Then about ten years later an older Itlaian man I had met , he was about 16 years older than I , when I was 45, i was so impashioned by him i said yes I would marry him , we had a wonderful loving relationship ,
Was kiled initaly whenhe went to place his elderly Mother in a nursing home in a traffic accident 7 years after we were married… he ha dhis faults many and varied but we never argued and I was always made to feel wanted , needed and loved…. I have never gone out with another man i felt like a jinx for some time , but i know in reality that is not so , but to find that love again is near impossible , or maybe I expect too much , as I am a very loving person and as of all mixed blood people express that love openly , which is scary to Australia n and I guess English people , whoare more reserved in ntheir manner . but as forlove may it live in everyones heart forever….
You see Lani, someone has a lot to live up to regarding your husband and your love for him……will be a hard call for you to match him……..maybe subconsciously comparing, who knows…….but it sounds like you did indeed find true love, and would have been everlasting if you had not lost him so tragically….xx
Wow, top post, star! It’s great to see blogs when lots of responses are in – and there’s pretty full coverage of ‘What love is…’ here. As a new blogger, I’m learning that you have to frame your subject and engage readers with it…. rather than leave no gaps.
Couldn’t agree more, for me children and grandchildren are the only substantial ‘meaning’ I can glean from life. I can’t separate myself from my offspring, they’re in me and I in them – regardless of the confusing games life plays! My missus of 41 years made the offspring possible. As partners, and far from ideally matched partners, we’ve held it all together because we thought the whole was more important than our own comfort or egos. If that isn’t love, it’ll do till love gets here, as the guy said in the film 🙂
Love is and always will be the best show in town, the biggest challenge with the biggest rewards and the bitterest disappointments; everything else is either fighting for survival or avoiding boredom.
…more! more! great discussion…..
Thankyou soundflyer, always my aim is to involve other chatters, we all like to have our little say on life’s ups and downs…….things we all experience and can comment on…….so I guess love is the glue that holds us together through thick and thin……..best make sure its a superglue I think…….lol xx
🙂 …. i’ve stretched the glue a few times but still hangin’ in thar…..
Lol xx
soundflyer, your answer sounds so honest and real and is therefore the most enlightening statement for me and it is from a man’s perspective. Thank you and you and the missus probably has and have had “love as good as it gets”.
So capps, you can afford to be choosy depending on the weather…….but have to agree, it can be too darn hot……not that we have that problem over here you understand…brrr, more likely to snuggle up…..xx
Hahahaha…I was being a bit flippant there Star..am not choosy at all..lol.
But ,being serious for a moment..I read about,,hear about and sometimes meet,women who have lost their hubbys,who they loved deeply…That is wonderful, heart warming and sad that they could,nt grow old together,however,when they express a desire to have a special gentleman friend to help keep loneliness at bay,they scare us off,big time !
I call it “The saint syndrome”
Its ok to mention the late hubby now and then,but not ad nauseum…It would seem that they were married to saints,and the longer they have been gone,the saintlier they get.
We realise that we are never going to match up to these pillars of virtue and good works,so dont take the relationship beyond Hi and Bye in the supermarket.
A pity really,both sides miss out on what might have been.
cappuccino, so true. Men can do that also.