Ladies, for all our mums who are no longer with us
An open letter to my mum….
Mum, as I now grow old, I understand what you must have gone through….the fading of your beauty….the aging of your body….the failing of your sight….the diminishment of your feminine powers….the way it felt to look in the mirror and not like your reflection as much….how you hated to look at your naked body because you couldn’t believe what you saw….the way you felt as you became more and more ‘invisible’ and young people started calling you madam….the way you weren’t quite sure what your purpose in life was after your children all grew up and moved on….how you needed them so much more than they needed you….how you tried so very hard to make the best of it….how you must have wished I understood….well, Mum……I do.
Dawn.xx
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My mom and I were estranged for the last years of her life. Now it is too late to make amends. People, love them while you can. Make peace if need be. And enjoy one another, either in this life, or in memory
Thank you, Dawn.
Love, Jackie XXXX
Dawn, Yesterday January 6th was 2 years since my mom passed away. It is sooo lonely not to have her here. 12 years ago I got a simple cassette recorder and had her start taping everything. Her childhood, stories of our life, home and family. I now have a library of tapes that I can listen to whenever I need her. Also, my dad died 27 years ago on the same day Janurary 6th. I miss the both of them so much. Thank you for the post. xx
oh HUGS Blush xxxx
My mother died 70 years ago this past November at the age of 38. I was the last of seven, 14 mos old. The family exploded without her. I have visited her grave, lonely and forgotten. In a letter to her mother a month before her death she noted the family had a new puppy and said she wasn’t sure if it was the puppy or me leaving puddles on the floor. I never knew her but, oh my god, how I wish I had. OB
Ohhh OB…. what a sad story. But so good of you to visit her grave. That is becoming a thing of the past and I wish more young people would realize how thoughtful it is. Hugs for you too!!! x
Dawn,Jackie, Blush and OB (((((((hugs)))))) I wasn’t going to reply to this post until your stories touched my heart. My mother was my grandmother who died 45 years ago, one of the most beautiful ladies under the sun.I visit her grave and sit on the grass beside her and take a trip down memory lane. Yes I do have a mother who is nearing the end and we made our peace a while ago. I will be very sad to lose her. love to you all xxx
Skippy, Sending (((((hugs)))))!!!!! xx
Perhaps a word of comfort from a silly tv film. A young soldier lies dieing and calls for his mother. An Irish sergeant holds the boy in his arms and says “She’s here, boy. Mothers are always here. Mothers never leave you”
I don’t think the Irishman was wrong.
Ohh Way… how beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
Mine did.
I lost my Mother on Jan. 8, 1988 and she died of a heart attack at home and she was 79 would have been 80 that Sept. I visit her grave up home in Greencastle, Pa. when I go up there once or twice a year. This past year I didn’t get up home. My grandparents, husband and stepfather are buried. in the same plot . I had gone home for Christmas in 87 and am so glad I did as she died after I had gone back to Fremont, Ca. Eleven days after she died my stepfather passed away as he had been sick when I went back for her furneral but never expected to loose my stepfather right after loosing my Mother.
I think we all miss our Mothers, but I also think they are always with us.
My Mother lost her mum when she was aged just eight, and her mum collapsed at the fairground…My mum was then sent to be brought up by her elder sister…and so her nieces were more like her sisters to her.
OB, my grandmother lost her mother in childbirth. Was raised by her sisters. At least I knew my mother and have some good memories of her. God bless you. Love, Jackie XXXX
My grandmother, who helped raise me, lost her mother a month after she was born. This was before germ theory and I am sure her mother died of puerperal fever. About five years later in the bitter cold of January, my great grandfather journeyed from his home in Wisconsin to a little town in Minnesota and there married a woman he had never met who raised my grandmother. This was about 1878. OB
thank you all for reading my post and sharing your experiences. I just know that if my mother could see me getting old and turning into a mirror image of her, she would laugh herself silly…..!x
by the way, I don’t know if you realised, but the post was my invention, basically saying that all those things that happened to my mother are all happening to me now, and which the ladies here may relate to……. !!x
Yes i realised that straight away Dawn, beacause that is exactly how i feel !!!! dont like it but hey ho cannot stop the ageing process, i just remind myself that it is better to be 6ft above the ground than below it, all the same brought a tear to my eye, because it is so true. x
MY mum died many years ago, she and Dad died within a week of each other. It was the worst time of my life. I think about them every day, and every day I regret I never told either of them what was in my heart.
My parents gave me a great start in life- gave me everything they could,…but there were no hugs or cuddles or demonstrations of love-you took it for granted they loved you.
I was a real Dad’s girl-everything I did or achieved was for Dad-but again, I never would have dreamed to say I loved him, we just didn’t do the ‘sloppy stuff.’Dad was the one I wrapped around my finger, Mum was the one who nagged me about always living in jeans and my awful taste in boys and music. Both died without me saying how much I
cared for them, and I so regret this.I think I’ll always feel guilty.
I decided live my life being very open with people, to let them know I care about them.
But I wish so much I’d had time at the end to speak my heart to Mum and Dad.
Phew, Dawn…end of my confession!
Love, Mx
Maize do not fret, they will know, my family wasn’t demonstrative either ( dont think a lot were years ago ) but i knew my family loved me by their deeds, and as they got older and ill i was there for them, i never told my parents i loved them, or they me, but its very true, actions speak louder than words.
Ah, Maize love, don’t beat yourself up, I am sure they knew without the need of words and it’s never too late, do what I did and put it in a letter……..Dawn.x
i miss both my parents so i understand.
Crying reading all your posts. My mother died 5 years ago and I can relate to all of your posts xoxox PS Dawn I am looking like my mother as well lol xoxox
dawn what a brill blog hun 🙂
My Mother always used to say that she should write a book about all the things that happen to a body in old age, but she never got around to it. She did leave me with three pieces of advice though, that I will share with the ladies . . . 1) If you’re going to lie your age, lie up. If you go the other direction, folks will assume that you’ve had a very hard life. By lying up, however, everyone will be amazed as to how good you look for your age, and even the women will tell you so. 2) Don’t let yourself get too thin. A few extra pounds will fill out the wrinkles and smooth out the cords in your neck, and help prevent ‘Mom Butt’. 3) I can’t repeat it in mixed company, but suffice to say that it concerns the male anatomy. God, I miss that woman . . .
I like the tip about lying up. Another suggestion is to leave get-well cards laying around. Unexpected guests will think you’ve been to ill to clean bouse.
That’s a brilliant idea, Jackie . . . How long does that scam work until folks start wise though? LOL 🙂