A President, an Orange dog and a Green snake

Yesterday evening, as usual I switched on the PC and logged into YM to wait for my wife to do the same from India.

This is a usual routine with us. Being countries apart, this is the medium in which we keep abreast of each other, discuss what needs to be, take decisions and in general spend some quality time together. Only the physical presence is missing.

In the midst of talking about daughter�s school, she suddenly said.

She : Hey I dreamt yesterday
Me : What about? (I fancied the dream to be having me as a major player, hopefully something exciting and passionate !! )
She: I don�t remember full
She: I only remember trying to hide and Bush coming to find me
Me: * Silence*
She: He wants me to be president ( But not US president)
Me: * Still deeper silence*
She: Dunno what exactly. I was trying to hide not wanting to take responsibility
Me: ��.. :O:O
She: And George Bush trying to locate me and talk
Me: Thank God it was not Clinton

(I swear, that was my instant response. In return, I could feel the cold wave of the Female contempt of the Male idea of a bawdy joke. As usual, bawdy turned tawdry!!)

Me: Er..You mean Bush is after you? As in Bush belonging to US ? Seriously?
She : *Cold Silence*
Me: He wanted you to be president of what?
She: * Colder silence*

Now I could feel the cold shoulder budging me out of the conversation altogether

Me: Sweetheart, You there?
She: Yes grrrrrrrrrrrr
Me: He wanted you to be president of what?
She: That I dunno
She : Forgot all
Me: Try and remember
She: Later only Bush sitting at table with me after he found me from hiding
Me: Lol Bush is after you�
Me : You are Bushwhacked !!!!
She: *Silence*
She: I am shocked, scared and disoriented..and you are finding it funny??
Me: * Duly chastised * Sorry yaar ..
She: Hey have you sent that letter to Nawin? Keep following it up from there. I have scanned the necessary papers and sent it to your gmail.

With that, she brought me back to reality, and then the chat meandered onto daily affairs that we need to do as a couple.

It is indeed a wonder that every day there is something or other that needs to be done, to be attended to, in running a household, a family.

I consider myself blessed that she is so strong and independent that she can take care of all such matters on her own with just a guiding word or a consent from me, which I suspect she asks for just out of consideration to my being part of the family.

I wonder what it would have been with me had she not been so capable.

Hence, it does not come as a surprise that even Bush is after her.

I tried to picturise how she would be as President.

The following rules will come into immediate effect.

1) Equal rights and responsibilities for all, irrespective of gender
2) Absolutely no divide or bias based on caste/creed/religion
3) Household responsibilities to be shared by both man and wife equally. If need be, government shall bring out a list of �to do�s� for both genders
4) Fast food joints shall be closed 4 days a week.
5) When open they shall be so only for 4 hours in the evening each day.
6) In every house, lights off at 10 pm

The list will be endless, hence I am not typing it out. But you do get the drift, don�t you?

She being a Taurean, and her mother in law a Virgo (a genuine Hitler) I and the kids know well enough what iron clad discipline she is capable of enforcing as a President !!!!

I think of the dreams I have had. Never one to get frequent dreams, the choice I have is very limited. Whenever I dream, it is the same one. There are two scenarios.

In the first, I am accosted by a rather fierce looking golden brown dog of indeterminate breed, which is easily clubbed as a mongrel.

Here I am, going about my business, when this cur comes up and smiles at me. Or so I think. On closer look I see it is a baring of fangs. With malicious intent.

Shhuu!!! Go away dog!! I try and shoo him away.

The gums open wider, the yellow fangs get bigger!!! �He could do with some Orbit Chewing Gum� an incongruous thought flits past my quaking mind.

I don�t know how I decided to do it, but the next minute I was running at top speed, with the nips and snarls getting nearer by the second, at my ankles.

� Wake up, wake up.. I was rudely pushed and pummeled by my friend� he was looking at me strangely.

I sat up groggily on the bed. He did not hide his anger. � Who were you calling a dog?? �

I had a lot of explaining to do, that I was being chased by a Golden Mongrel and I was running for my life when he saved me.

The same dream occurs with minor variations, each time it comes roughly about once in 4 to 6 months. Once the cur was green and I was wearing heavy steel tipped safety shoes which made running all the more difficult. I literally woke up panting and out of breath that day.

In the second scenario, I find myself beside a drying out pond in the middle of a barren stretch of land. There is one solitary tree devoid of leaves or flowers. Just stark branches, reaching out to the blazing sun in the bright blue sky.

On the lowest branch hangs a green snake, with a penchant for making comic faces and going �Tee Hee Hee� at me, continuously.

I get angry and go up to the snake. A knife miraculously appears in my hand and I rip it to pieces, all the while shouting �How dare you mock me like this?�

I turn back to wash my hands in the pond, and I hear the all too familiar screech of laughter.

The mocking snake is at it again! �Har Har Har.. � it goes and I can literally see its green coils shaking in abundant mirth.

Usually at this point I shout and wake up with a shudder of anger.

It is strange that the same dreams occur to me again and again. Hence it is a relief that I dream only very infrequently. But, whenever I do, it is either the green Snake or the orange-coloured, sometimes green Dog.

I have heard of the beautiful dreams my friends have had. I too have wished at least once or twice, hearing them glowingly describe the nubile nymphets and the sexy sirens who visit them in the Netherlands of their sleep.

I sometimes wish to win a lottery at least in my dreams. In real life I have yet to win a single rupee, be it a lottery or a lotto at a party.

Maybe I am less fortunate. I have only a snake and an orange green dog chasing me.

Whereas my wife has the US President chasing her! So what if it happens to be a president renowned for bloopers? A president is a president is a president�

Oh when???

Oh when will I get a dream that I like?